Maryland Blows 21-Point Lead at Wake

[Sigh]. I'd love to complain about the Wake goal line fumble that the Terps recovered that the officials originally didn't call anything, then called a touchdown after conferring. Seriously though, when you allow an 101-yard interception return while up 21 late in the game, you really can't waste much time blaming the refs.

Winning on the road in any conference is tough. It would have been really nice to hold on to this one (and bury Wake with a second conference loss).

Madison Avenue Is Ruining Football for Me

I can't take it anymore. I was driving into work today and I heard the 50th version of the same commercial. The wife was complaining because her big lout husband and his fat drunk friends were making noise and grinding potato chips in the carpet and generally watching football. The wives suggest the boys take it to Hooters, and everyone lives happily ever after.

I have obtained audio files discretely secreted from the offices of some of the most powerful ad agencies on Madison Avenue. Here's a transcript of one of them:

[MAN 1] - We've gotta come up with a way to get people's attention.

[LACKEY 1] - Guys still like football right?

[LACKEY 2] - Football's hot right now.

[LACKEY 3] - Men in our focus group like football.

[MAN 1] - Well we can't just show football?

[LACKEY 1] - Guys still like tits right?

[LACKEY 2] - Tits are hot right now

[LACKEY 3] - Men in our focus group like tits. And twins.

[TOKEN CHICK] - After showing something football related, and tits, we need to find a way to engage women viewers.

[MAN 1] - Pissed off wife. Ok, so that covers Irish Spring. Now we need to come up with a strategy for PaperMate.

blblah Tackle your hunger, and your inner bigot, with Reggie White and Chunky Soup

In another, you can hear sexy baritone voice-over man reading some copy.

[VOICE-OVER] - Hey boys. It's football season, and you have a man-sized hunger. That's why you need DiGiornio. When you're down in the trenches with your boys, you need to shut the door on big hunger. DiGiornio doesn't just taste like delivery, it tastes like delivery being slammed down your throat by [insert non-thuggish Pro Browler] That's right, [non-thuggish Pro Bowler] eats DiGiornio.

The sad truth is that they think they have figured out the only way to reach the coveted 21-35 year-old money wasting men. Unfortunately, there are only so many combinations of football players, tailgates, living room celebrations and hot wives/chicks in midriff jerseys that work together. And now we're getting them for everything from Doritos to shitty frozen pizza to shitty non-offensive beerwater. It's painfully obvious that the people making the commercials don't get it. You can't just throw images of football around and get us to zone out and absorb the advertisement.

And really, we don't all relate to "fat guy who paints himself colors used by no NFL team because we don't want to use the Bears' colors and risk alienating Green Bay." We also don't all relate to "guy with enormous beer belly with wife hotter than Ari's on Entourage." If you can't bring some fresh ads like Bud Light and DirectTV, just show us the product.

I really fear the day is fast coming where the idea of really liking football becomes trite. Like you can hear some slicky ad-man in your ear going "You like football, riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight? Would you like to see some football? Hey men, it's FOOTBALL TIME!". Your only reaction will be "I'm not that guy. I don't like football, because I'm not like those guys on TV who like football." I'm not looking forward to that day.

Time to fill out your "Would you do..." brackets

The Big Picture has just put out the latest edition of its "Would you do..." tournament covering female athletes (the first version was for female sportscasters). Since the only thing more fun than looking at attractive women is arguing about which one is hotter (alright, maybe there are a few things more fun than that), I'm throwing down the gauntlet and posting my bracket for all to see. If you want to get in on the action, take the empty bracket, fill it out (I used paint.net to do it, but you can fill it in by hand and scan in the results, or just list your winners), and post it to your blog.

It's up to you whether you pick based on your own preferences or based on who you think the other pervs voting at The Big Picture will choose. I went with my own personal preferences, and here's my completed bracket (click for a larger version):


I'm bucking convention and hoping that Stokke has run out her 15 minutes of fame. I'm taking Brittany Jackson to win it all.

If you don't know who some of the contestants are, or if you just want to leer at the pictures of the ones you do know, head over to The Big Picture and in the right-hand column they have a list of all the contestants with links to a post giving the pros and cons for each one.

Landis Banned, French Lab Warned

ESPN has reported what will probably be the final verdict in the year+ long saga of the Floyd Landis doping scandal. After $2 million of defense funding, investigations, and accusations, the verdict was 2-1 against Landis. While this might not be big news, some of the details of the verdict should be of more relevance in an age where steroids and steroids testing will be dominating many of the major sports in years to come.

Even the majority which ruled against Landis admitted that the French Lab which performed the test did not follow appropriate procedures and their report, according to the dissenting opinion, "The documents supplied by LNDD are so filled with errors..."

From the dissenter:
"Also, the T-E ratio test is acknowledged as a simple test to run. The IRMS test is universally acknowledged as a very complicated test to run, requiring much skill. If the LNDD couldn't get the T-E ratio test right, how can a person have any confidence that LNDD got the much more complicated IRMS test correct?"

While Landis is probably stuck with this decision, the problem of a lab which appears to have no accountability remains. This same lab accused Lance of cheating as well. Maybe they just improved their tampering technique for Floyd's case. In situations like this year's Tour where a single positive result forced the withdrawal of an entire team, who's to say there might not be some shady dealings when only one lab is responsible for all the testing? I'm not saying I believe Floyd is innocent. I just don't know any more, and I don't trust the various anti-doping agencies, which have a reputation to uphold as well.

In an age of steroid paranoia, the athlete still deserves the privilege of defending himself in a fair trial of some sort. What if Tom Brady tests positive for something, but the lab messed up? The NFL and MLB appear to have appropriate waiting periods before announcing results to check backup samples and such. The French lab which tests cyclists is notorious for releasing its findings a little early.

I just hope athletes get a fair shake, clean or dirty. We'll never know about Floyd.

Landis Stripped of Tour de France

[snore]...what? Sorry, I read Tour de France and dozed off.

He still has one appeal to some kind of half-assed international sport tribunal.

Story here.

Danny Ferry Supports UNC?

Those UNC pranksters are at it again. ESPN reports (with picture) that someone painted Dookie and Cavs GM Danny Ferry's office Carolina Blue, with a nice UNC logo.

Wow, paint and burglary are a big step up for UNC. I remember a simple time when they would just drop a Cleveland Steamer on Koach K Kourt.

Week 3 NFL Against the Spread Picks

As if to prove that Week 2 only paid the most amateur of NFL handicappers, Jeremy and the Magic 8 Ball narrowly squeaked out winning weeks while Brien, Russell and I all ended up 2-3. That means Jeremy gets to go first, for hopefully the last time this season.

As always, Sheridan's Odds are used, current as of 3:15p ET Friday.

Jeremy and Magic 8 Ball
So my contributions to the blog have been minimal at best this week. Nothing like starting work the week that we have [a new client named Orenthal]. It's like trying to jump onto a car moving at 120mph. But anyway, I've got a few moments so here are my and the Magic 8 Ball's picks of the week:

WASHINGTON (-3.5) over Giants. I think the 'Skins win this game in much the same way they beat the Eagles as sans Brandon Jacobs, the Giants have no running threat and the 'Skins pass D has been fantastic. So long as Campbell doesn't beat himself, it's just a matter of putting up enough points to beat this spread. Magic 8 Ball Pick: WASHINGTON (-3.5) over Giants. "Signs point to yes [Redskins will beat the spread]."

Minnesota (+3) over KANSAS CITY. I still have seen no signs of life from this Kansas City team and only got beat picking against them last week because Chicago has no offense. Tavares Jackson isn't that impressive either, but even on the road he'll lead the team to cover this spread. Amazing that the line has these two teams dead even given that home field is generally worth two points. Magic 8 Ball Pick: Minnesota (+3) over KANSAS CITY. "No [Kansas City will not beat the spread]."

Indianapolis (-6) over HOUSTON. I have been very impressed with Matt Schaub's leadership and his play, but they haven't exactly had stiff competition, not to mention the fact that Schaub is going to be without the guy who he threw to over 50% of the time. Colts win by a TD on the road in front of boisterous and fired up Texans fans. Magic 8 Ball Pick: HOUSTON (+6) over Indianapolis. "Signs point to yes [Texans will beat the spread]."

Buffalo (+16.5) over NEW ENGLAND. Listen, I think the Pats will win without a doubt. But anytime the line gets this inflated, especially for an NFL game, and especially for a rivalry game, I gotta take the 'dog. Magic 8 Ball Pick: NEW ENGLAND (-16.5) over Buffalo. "Yes [New England will beat the spread]."

Carolina (-4) over ATLANTA. Falcons have scored ten points in two games. Carolina's D showed weakness against the Texans, but they're not that weak. Further, Carolina's run defense is very strong putting more pressure on Joey Harrington to pass... not a good combo. Magic 8 Ball Pick: Carolina (-4) over ATLANTA. "My answer is no [Falcons will not beat the spread]."

So I'm going with four road teams this week, and may have run into the bear trap of picking the one home team that I did with my heart instead of my head. There are definitely some tough games on the board this week to pick straight up, let alone against the spread.

Russell
After a hurting first two weeks, I'm just hoping for the best...

Indianapolis (-6) over HOUSTON: The loss of Andre Johnson is huge for the Texans.

Detroit (+6.5) over PHILLY: What Philly secondary? Lito's still out and Donovan has struggled.

DENVER (-3) over Jacksonville: Denver finally converts yards into points.

OAKLAND (-3) over Cleveland: Last week wasn't the first time the Browns have lit up the Bengals. Doesn't mean they're good.

WASHINGTON (-3.5) over NY Giants: Giants have given up 80 points in the first two weeks, and the entire offense is hurt.

Brien
Now that everyone has played two games, there are three groups of teams when you look at the league in terms of against-the-spread (ATS) performance: teams that are 2-0 ATS, 1-1 ATS, and 0-2 ATS. Since we still don't know too much about the teams, we need to use what we know about other gamblers to make our picks. The key question to answer here is whether you think Vegas will cling to pre-season projections or will overreact to week 1 & 2 performances in setting the lines. Starting next week, I think you'll see a lot more weight placed on 2007 performance, but for now 2006 is still fresh in people's minds. We'll use that to our advantage by ignoring pre-season expectations and concentrating on what happened on the field the past two weeks.

Dallas (+3) over CHICAGO - Dallas (2-0 ATS) is putting a lot of points on the board. Chicago (0-2 ATS) doesn't look like the same team as last year. (BONUS PICK: The number for this game is 42.5, take the under and pocket the money)

Tennessee (+4.5) over NEW ORLEANS - Tennessee is 2-0 ATS and New Orleans is 0-2 ATS. This line is a perfect example of pre-season expectations carrying over to week 3. You should be able to get a +150 moneyline (per smartcapper.com) on this game. I'd recommend taking the Titans straight up.

OAKLAND (-3) over Cleveland - Both teams are 1-1 ATS, but this is a situation where Cleveland's big win last week will be overvalued by odds-makers.

TAMPA BAY (-3.5) over St. Louis - The Rams (0-2 ATS) haven't looked good at all this year, and last week showed us that the Bucs might not be the doormat people thought they would be.

GREEN BAY (+4.5) over San Diego - You probably think I'm crazy with this one, but hear me out. The Packers are 2-0 ATS (and 2-0 straight up) this year. The Chargers were completely overmatched by the Pats and struggled to beat a Chicago team that isn't very good. They're also coming off a huge Sunday night game last week against the Patriots, and play division games the next three weeks (KC, @DEN, OAK) leading up to their bye week. So if San Diego is going to overlook one game in the first half of the season, this is it. I don't trust Norv to keep the team focused enough to be prepared to play a surprisingly good Packers team. On the other hand, what the hell do I know, I'm 4-6.

J-Red
Brien's right. Week 3 is when you have to stop quoting Dennis Green. Some teams are not what we thought they were.

Detroit (+6.5) over PHILLY - What is there to like about Philly? No Westbrook. McNabb looks hurt. Lito Sheppard out.

San Francisco (+8.5) over PITTSBURGH - San Francisco is overrated, but Mike Nolan has AFC North experience. There's just enough defense and Frank Gore to keep them within a TD...I hope.

Indy (-6) over HOUSTON - Andre Johnson is just too big a loss to overcome. Plus, when was the last time Peyton looked bad two straight weeks?

Buffalo (+16.5) over NEW ENGLAND - If you want to crown their ass, crown them. I would REALLY like that extra half point though.

God, that's only four? I'll pick a home team.

OAKLAND (-3) over Cleveland - I'm just blindly hoping last week was a total aberration, and Cincy is really not very good.

RECAP AND STANDINGS
Jeremy: 6-3-1
J-Red: 6-4-0
Magic 8 Ball: 5-4-1
Brien: 4-6
Russell: 3-7

(consensus picks in bold)
Jeremy: BUF, CAR, IND, MIN, WAS
Magic 8 Ball: CAR, HOU, MIN, NE, WAS
Russell: DEN, DET, IND, OAK, WAS
Brien: DAL, GB, OAK, TB, TEN
J-Red: BUF, DET, OAK, IND, SF

Maryland = Notre Dame?

The good news is that we're being compared to Notre Dame. The bad news is that we're being compared to Notre Dame THIS YEAR.

The numbers don't lie. I don't like being called a "mid-level ACC" team, but we need the pub wherever we can get it.

Article, by Dennis Dodd (James Carville with a better accent (presumably)), can be found HERE, at CBS Sportsline.

Yeah, I read CBS Sportsline. What are you going to do about it? Fight me?

Week 4 CFB Picks

Thanks to Arkansas rising from the dead not once but twice, last week was another winning week, certainly more than I can say about my NFL picks. This week, there is no big out-of-conference showdown, so I'm changing the format here and going around the country via the major conferences. To do so, I've doubled up to 10 picks this week. (Note that some conferences will be included in the future when their conference schedule is in full swing.)

ACC:
WAKE (-3) over Maryland: MD always struggles stopping the Wake offense, and I don't think Steffy has the poise yet to pull out a road win in a close game, if this even stays close. Remember that basically this same Wake team blew out MD and FSU last year, among others.

Clemson (-7) over NC STATE: Clemson is way more talented.

SEC:
ALABAMA (-3.5) over Georgia: Arkansas has a much better offense than Georgia, and I think Alabama will still be able to move the ball on Georgia. Nick Saban won't let them forget about those 21 point leads they let slip away.

Kentucky (+6.5) over ARKANSAS: Kentucky now has confidence after the win over Louisville, and Alabama exposed Arkansas' young secondary. Not sure who will win this game, but it should come down to the wire like last week for both teams.

LSU (-15.5) over South Carolina: SC's good, but not good enough to challenge LSU at home. The game will be closer than LSU-VT though.

Big 10:
Penn St. (-2.5) over MICHIGAN: This is a tougher choice than one might think. PSU's 3 victories are over 3 very bad teams, and both of these teams beat ND by about the same score. I think the Penn St. defense and Morelli's experience are too much in the end.

WISCONSIN (-8) over Iowa: Wisconsin hasn't really looked sharp, but Iowa's just bad. Iowa's opponents are a combined 1-8, with that one win over Iowa by Iowa St., which incidentally had lost to I-AA Northern Iowa the week before. I will be shocked if this stays close for long.

Purdue (-13.5) over MINNESOTA: Minnesota is terrible, and Purdue isn't.

PAC 10:
Washington (+7) over UCLA: Nothing makes me feel better about an upset pick than Herbie agreeing. Washington was overmatched last week against a top 10 team. UCLA just collapsed against mediocre 0-2 Utah. I think Washington wins this game.

Oregon (-16.5) over STANFORD: Oregon just beat up on a solid Fresno St. team, look for more of the same against Stanford, doormat of the Pac 10.

Enjoy another wonderful week of CFB!

Last Week: (3-2-0)
Season: (7-4-0)

Spreads taken from Sheridan's Odds, as usual.

Redskins Is Racist

(The American Prospect) This column was written by Michael Tomasky.

Though a liberal, I am not and never have been a devotee of political correctness. I think "black" and "Indian" work just fine most of the time and consider "African American" and "Native American" to be superfluous mouthfuls. I think it's more important that disadvantaged schoolchildren memorize their multiplication tables than have their self-esteem preserved.

And I can't quite get behind the idea that people who choose to change their sex should be grouped, rights-securing wise, with people who were born gay.

So I don't usually go in for this sort of thing. But as the new football season approaches, enough is enough: Washington Redskins is a horrendously racist name.

Where do I start? I suppose by saying that this fact should be so obvious to absolutely everyone that the need to change the name at this point, now no longer the "innocent dawn" of the 21st Century, should be beyond debate. I mean … Redskins! Just sit with that word for a while.

These next three paragraphs contain a few offensive words, but using them (or some of them) is the best way to make the point.

Let's start with the mother of all racist pejoratives — you know the word I mean. This one I won't put it in print; it's too lurid. Obviously, no one would name a team the Washington N-----s, and anyway, I don't think Redskins is equivalent to that. We white folk (this includes not just the United States, but pre-U.S. colonialists) may have killed far more native people, but what we did to black people occupies a more prominent place in our national memory, and I think probably rightly so. So the N-word, so fully associated with that history, is a special case, and it has no equal.

Read the rest of the article here, at The American Prospect.

HutGate!

According to Brian Billick, the Jets were simulating snap count all game long on Sunday. Billick says this led to three illegal procedure penalties. He also noted the 11 to 2 penalty discrepancy, and seemed to imply that the referees were favoring the Queens/NJ Jets.

Brian, if you're trying to make the point on Belichick's behalf that every team cheats, and I suspect that's what you're doing, you had better have something better than barking counts on the field. ESPECIALLY WHEN THE UMPIRE IS FIVE TO SEVEN YARDS BEHIND THE LINE OF SCRIMMAGE. Odd that he never heard the defensive line's cheating.

Hmmm. Take out the false starts and it's 8-2. For the sake of argument, we'll pretend Suggs didn't jump off the back of a teammate to try to block an XP (unsportsmanlike-leverage-15) and Samari Rolle didn't tackle a receiver when he lost sight of the ball (defensive PI). That makes it 6-2. The 14-year-old next to me saw the block in the back during the Ed Reed punt return. I'll accept his word and call it 5-2. How much further do I have to go before it becomes statistically insignificant? I've identified 6 of the 11 penalties, all deserved, without even mentioning Chris McAllister's face mask (which I can't evaluate from the upper deck). If the Ravens had 11 penalties for 100 yds, I've identified more than two thirds of the yardage, and it's all "earned".

Seriously, in the NFL these tits belong to a "ManGenius". I've seen worse on Skinemax.

I'm concerned that Billick's new inspirational book this year talked mostly about distracting perception. On the radio show after last week's 27-20 6-turnover multi-penalty loss, Billick said HE WOULD HAVE GONE FOR TWO if the Ravens had scored. The Ravens had 10+ plays inside the 20 to tie it and even though two plays arguably should have been touchdowns (Google Pereira Heap), they came up empty. Billick wants me to think that he had a surefire 2-pt play hiding between his nuts? I'm *sure* he didn't make that comment to make me forget that he threw it deep on 3rd-and-1 midway through the 4th quarter with a 1-pt lead.

Week 2 - Picks Against the Spread

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner! In a crazy Week 2, only Jeremy squeaked some cash out of Vegas.

I'm beginning to wonder if I pimped Brien too early.

Last Thursday, I said that Week 2 is the worst week of the year for against the spread betting. You think you know something, but it's all based on what you think you know about the Week 1 opponent. Sure Houston looked good, but I've formed better turds than KC. Turns out Houston and their brother turd in Washington might not be so bad.

And the records reflect the same. Here are the painful results (italics indicate unpredictable bad luck which in no way reflects on the prognosticator's skill.)

Brien: (2-3 this week, 4-6 overall)
Cincy, New Orleans, Denver, Atlanta, Houston

Jeremy: (3-2 this week, 6-3-1 overall)
Chicago, New Orleans, Arizona, Dallas, Washington

J-Red: (2-3 this week, 6-4 overall)
Cincy, Detroit, New Orleans, Green Bay, Tennessee

Magic 8-Ball: (3-2 this week, 5-4-1 overall)
Philly, Seattle, Dallas, KC, Tampa Bay

Russell: (2-3 this week, 3-7 overall)
Cincy, Detroit, New Orleans, Dallas, Green Bay

Standings
Jeremy: 6-3-1
J-Red: 6-4-0
Magic 8-Ball: 5-4-1
Brien: 4-6
Russell: 3-7

Survivor Standings
Brien forgot to submit a team, [CORRECTION: Someone else forgot, Brien already lost] which means he was the only person who wasn't wrong (and the only one eliminated). The other participants all selected Cincy or New Orleans, and since all were wrong everyone (who submitted a team) is alive.

It's like the spelling bee in that way, except all the participants lost their virginity prior to turning 30. Even Jeremy.

The Clock Management Coach

I think Bill Simmons has proposed the "Assistant Coach for Common Sense" recently, but I have documented evidence from my law school newspaper that the following idea was mine first.

Assistant Coach for Clock Management

Every team has experienced the same pain in the end-game or halftime situation. The coach is either inconsistent or ignorant of his goals. In the Washington-Miami game, Miami failed to call timeout near halftime and faced the ineviable position of scoring on 3rd and 1, or kicking a field goal and admitting their time management failure. Cameron went for it, and succeeded, but the tenor of his whole coaching career was on the line with that call.

Then there's Herm Edwards.
spacer
fgfglahabjlas YOU PLAY TO WIN THE GAME! You coach for the hot Krispy Kremes.
spacer
Let's just look at tonight's game as an example. You're down eight with one timeout and about three minutes left. You have two choices: a) run the clock and bank on the TD+2 combo, and force OT, or 2) Go fast and try to score, knowing that even if you don't pick up the two, you can onside and kick a FG to win it. The first scenario is all or nothing, in that if you don't get the two the game is virtually over. The second scenario feels wiser, but it also communicates to your team that you think you won't get the two. On the other hand, if you take the first option and milk the clock you're telling your defense, "Gee, I'd really rather put it all on the TD+2, because I can't count on you to prevent them from getting into FG range." However, the only thing that matters is that YOU PICK ONE AND STICK WITH IT. The Eagles seemed to want to rush (getting a play off before the two-minute warning), and then slow down.

See why you need a scape goa.....errr.....Assistant Coach for Time Management? The Head Coach doesn't have time to consider all the two-minute-drill variables. The alternative is that the loudest and closest assistant gets to influence split-second decisions by the head coach.

How else do you explain Andy Reid "freezing the kicker" with 14 seconds left in the half and the Redskins attempting a FG, rather than a shot in the end zone? An Assistant Coach for Time Management would have told him that you don't give a team a free shot at the end zone when the worst case scenario is that they line up for the same field goal they're already lined up to kick. That free shot won my fantasy game (Chris Cooley DOES still play for the Redskins), but it should have never happened.

There's no salary cap for coaching staff (though Danny Boy seems to be pushing the envelope). Why not hire someone to master all of the clock scenarios?

I'm Skerred

To quote Jessie Spano from Saved by the Bell:

"I'm so excited! I'm so excited! I'm so....so......scared. Mwah wah wah wah."

Since Jeremy and Russell are still fighting through the shock that comes from Andy Reid shitting the bed and McNabb playing the worst game of his life (overthrow everyone=groin or foot injury), I'll comment on the Redskins 2-0 start.

They should have been about 60-40 to beat Miami, and the overtime result proved that. They should have been about 30-70 to beat Philly in Philly, but Andy Reid and McNabb leveled the playing field.

Tip to Coach: If there are 14 seconds left in the half, and the driving team has 0 timeouts, and they inexplicably bring on the FG unit to tie it at 6, DON'T CALL FUCKING TIME OUT YOU CHEESE DROOLING MORON. IF YOU DO CALL TIME OUT, PUT 8 MOTHERFUCKERS ON THE GOAL LINE AND MAKE THEM PLAY IN FRONT OF YOU, YOU CHEESE DROOLING MORON. He did and he didn't and they lost Cooley crossing towards the post. 10-6 Skins at the half, and they never looked back.
spacer blahblahblahblah Yeah, he's gay. He's still a decent running back.

As much as it makes my balls joust each other, the Redskins look like a potential sleeper in the NFC. The other candidates (StL, Sea, Car) are doing their best Mike Alstott impression (looking good, but fumbling any important opportunity). Only GB in the NFC is more surprising.

Jason Campbell is better than expected, in that he makes moronic decisions, but the mistakes don't hurt. Clinton Portis looks like that dude who used to wear 26 for the Broncos. Randle-El is almost passing for a legitimate NFL receiver. Add that to Moss and Cooley, and they can't be totally horrific, right? The defense is still weak from line to OLB, but London Fletcher (where'd the Baker go? Did estranged father get drunk at the wedding?) can hold down the middle effectively.

Of course, they've lost Jansen and they look like they might have lost Randy Thomas today. How good will Campbell be when he is getting fucked in the ass every time he drops back? How good will Portis be when the other jersey is scheduling meetings in the backfield?

It's too early to tell, but looking at the Giants and Eagles, it might be that the Cowboys win 12 or 13, and the Redskins scrape up enough dregs to get to 9 or 10 wins.

In this era, that's a successful season. Plus, Gibbs finally has a good note to go out on. You know Cowher is sitting at home thinking "either the Panthers or Redskins are going to need a coach this offseason. I live in Raleigh, and Washington is an hour away when Danny Boy gives me his chopper to sign me."

For once, it might not be a depressing shit-filled universe in the land of the Redskins. Dust off the 1999 flags, I see the bandwagon re-forming.

Riots in Durham!

The Dookies finally won a football game, beating Big Televen doormat Northwestern on the road. How did the Dookies, the paradigm of college sports class and decorum, react? They tore down their own goalposts in Durham.

The Dookies tore down their home goalposts after a road victory over a God-awful Northwestern team.

blablahbahblahblabla Dookie V, is that you?!?!

Dookies: The statute of limitations for making fun of Maryland students for rioting after finally beating Duke in Cameron (ending years of frustration) officially expired when the clock hit 0:00 in the Northwestern game. You are us, except your education costs four times more and gets you into the same law schools Jeremy and I attended. Popped-collar polos and uglier girls does not a better campus make.

Matt Ryan Impresses in Big BC Victory

Tonight I had the privilege to watch Matt Ryan in action. I had heard various announcers start to throw his name around as a top 5 QB, maybe a Heisman candidate. I thought that was ridiculous, but hadn't seen him play. Even though I was rooting for GT, I was very impressed. His passes were strong, on-time, and exactly where they needed to be. He threw two 50 yard passes that hit his receivers in stride over the correct shoulder. The numbers were 30-44 for 435 yds and a TD, no INT's. I would say all but maybe one of those incompletions were either intentional throw-aways with no one open or balls put where only his guy could catch them and just out of reach. None of the passes were even close to being picked. Don't be surprised if he's the overall #1 pick in the draft. Also, lots of credit to the new coach at BC, Jagodzinski. The whole team was sharp and well-coached for a big road test.

In other news, a big OVERRATED for the #11 UCLA Bruins with a 44-6 loss at previously 0-2 Utah. Also disappointing, #7 Wisconsin is supposedly the favorite in the Big 10 this year. Giving up 31 to Citadel at home doesn't impress. To be fair, #15 GT deserves a little overrated call, getting blown out at home. I guess those wins over Notre Dame and Samford shouldn't have impressed everyone so much. How about that Louisville D? Too bad the offense couldn't put up enough points to cover your inadequacies this week. Big win for the UK program.

Credit to Oregon for a strong statement against Fresno St. Miss St. showed that USF's win was not an aberration. The most surprising part is that both MSU and USF tried to give the game back to Auburn, but Auburn just really isn't that good. I would give credit to Ohio St., but Washington had so many chances in that game and blew them (or had them blown dead by the ref). At some point, Boeckman will cost them a game or two. Also, Florida established themselves as the team to beat in the SEC East. The Alabama-LSU Nick Saban reunion game would appear to loom large as the SEC West indicator.

Final comment: Troy will win the Sun Belt conference this year and whatever bowl they end up in. Write it down now. They destroyed a mediocre Oklahoma St. team on Friday.