Mike Vick = Cure for Cancer

As a one-time scientist, this is the most exciting cancer-fighting news of the past decade. Scientists have modified the herpes simplex virus to attack and kill cancerous cells. If only this had come out in the Ron Mexico trial. Our good buddy, Mike "Ron Mexico" Vick, could have argued that he was only trying to save her from cancer.

In other news, TSA employees at Albany International (???Canada???) Airport were perfect in finding water bottles (which have been determined to be unable to bring a plane down), but 0-for-5 in finding disarmed bombs planted in luggage, (though the AP story says 1-for-5, which is insignificant in baseball but a significant risk if you're "spending" sleeper terrorists in the U.S.) even when the water bottle was intentionally placed directly adjacent to the fake bomb. So our good friend Mike Vick gets stopped and detained for bringing a false compartment water bottle on a plane (where he keeps his jewelry, natch), but he could have snuck some bombs on board.