8 Easy Steps to Vick's Longer Sentence

Michael Vick's handwritten appeal for leniency prior to sentencing, along with letters from other notable athletes, was touching but failed to sway the judge. Wondering why? Here's how to get the most out of your sentencing range:

1. Commit felonies repeatedly and in multiple jurisdictions over a number of years. Provide all of the funding for the illegal activities and make the significant decisions.

2. When you are discovered, lie in a bald-faced manner to everyone, including your boss (who has been good to you) and the federal prosecutors. (Ever heard of taking the 5th?)

3. Keep separate, better representation from your co-conspirators so that if they don't plea, their chances are much worse than yours.

4. When your pals plea, maintain that you had nothing to do with it.

5. Plea, but only after the feds have a complete case against you with everything necessary to convict.

6. While waiting for sentencing, do drugs. You're already going to jail, might as well, right?

7. Make "a calculated effort to hide the truth" even after copping a plea, and do such a poor job that it's obvious to the feds and your own lawyer can't even dispute it.

8. Send a letter to the judge stating "Throughout this entire case, I've just tried to be honest," and basically stating that you're sorry you got caught. (See steps #2 and #7 on honesty) If you're going to send a letter to the judge after lying to the prosecutors, at least try a different tack than claiming to have been honest.

To further expose the Vick appeal for leniency, let's look at a couple more quotes from someone who was involved in the felonies for multiple years:

"Honestly, I wish I had never been involved in dogfighting," he wrote. "As a result I've lost everything -- my good name, job, endorsements, and now my freedom." TRANSLATION: I wish I hadn't done it, because I got caught. So please reduce my sentence.

[The dogs] "should lead a good life." TRANSLATION: If I can't make money off them, they deserve a good home.

Further, Hank Aaron's letter starts a sentence "From what I understand, ..." Well, if that's not convincing from someone that knows Mike intimately, I don't know what is. Try to find someone that actually knows you for a recommendation. (Mama doesn't count)

Quotes from here and here.