July 21, 2009

When Ben Roethlisberger and The Wire Collide

So by now it's old news that friend of the Baltimore Ravens, motorcycle helmet enthusiast, and resident bootyologist of Miami University, Ben Roethlisberger, has been accused of sexual assault by an employee of Harrah's Lake Tahoe.

Big Ben growing out his Stanley Cup beard. Or maybe his flip cup beard.


This is the woman who has accused Big Ben of sexual assault. She goes by the name of Andrea McNulty. Apparently she was asked by Roethlisberger to come to his room to fix his television and then he forced himself on her. Compare her to the girls in the above picture. Although Andrea McNulty is about a perfect 10 compared to the average Pittsburgh girl.

According to multiple sources to us here at ECB, the gentleman pictured above, one "Jimmy McNulty," Baltimore Police Department (retired), formerly of the Homicide Unit and Major Case Unit, is giving one last gift to his beloved city of Baltimore. Jimmy McNulty is a cousin of Andrea McNulty on her father's Irish side. He is using his experience at staging crimes (he was forced from the police department after he staged a series of serial killings in order to raise awareness of underfunding of the department), to give the hated Pittsburgh quarterback a major distraction just weeks before the start of training camp by planting just enough evidence to give rise to a civil suit but not a criminal suit.

2 Responses:

J-Red said...

Please, everyone, note that *I* did not post this one. I'm willing to offer the City of Pittsburgh a truce. If you stop calling Ray Lewis a murderer after he was clearly exonerated, we won't even start calling Ben a rapist (since I have a feeling he'll be completely exonerated).

Joey Porter still fights dogs though.

Jeremy said...

J-Red, don't worry. The Bunk will completely exonerate Big Ben.

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