News Roundup - Aug. 4

1) Elton Brand ruptured his Achilles tendon during a normal workout, and will be out six months to a year. LAist ponders whether the Clippers, still reeling from Shaun Livingston's potentially career ending patella dislocation, might be in the Kobe sweepstakes now. My question is, what do they have left to trade? Also, why are ligaments and tendons "torn", but the achilles tendon and the patella tendon "rupture"?

2) Calvin Johnson signed with the Lions. I don't know if you saw, but ESPN has declared him one of the Hall-of-Famers currently playing in the league. Zach Thomas didn't make the list, apparently on the assumption that he can't do enough at this point to get in. I think Zach has a better chance of being a late-career Super Bowl MVP than Calvin Johnson has of being a HoFer with the Lions. The story that isn't being reported is that Calvin Johnson (who desperately needs a nickname) got $27.2M guaranteed and $64M overall, which might not sit well with Roy Williams and Mike Furrey, who made the vet minimum $500,000 in 2006 and signed a three-year deal for $9M (all guaranteed and $5.5M in the first year) this offseason. That's some cheddah, but it still has to hurt to make so much less than a guy who has proven nothing beyond how bad ACC cornerbacks were last year.

3), related to 2), know and love Rotoworld. It's the only site I know of that provides contract info for each NFL player. If you actually care about winning your fantasy league, that information reveals motivation, and motivation spawns true sleepers. ESPN: The Magazine ranked players on an opportunity/talent scale, but motivation is the true X Factor. Ask anybody who has ridden Yancey Thigpen, Joe Jurevicius, or Ricky Proehl to fantasy championships. Eminem's "You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow" doesn't apply to the NFL. You need guys who are on their LAST shot.

4), related to 2), the list of first round holdouts is down to:

1. JaMarcus Russell, QB, Raiders
14. Darrelle Revis, CB, Jets (slotted, but being an asshole. Losing major ground to Justin Miller)
22. Brady Quinn, QB, Browns
23. Dwayne Bowe, WR, Chiefs (waiting on Quinn)
25. Jon Beason, LB, Panthers (slotted, but hoping Dan Morgan can't make it back)

5) Neifi Perez, Tigers IF, has been suspended for 80 games for a third "banned stimulant" violation. Oriole Post states the obvious, that Perez must be an idiot. Given that Perez is a comfortable major leaguer, as in one not likely to fall out of the league, I have to wonder if cocaine and other drugs are considered "stimulants". All of the other guys caught in the steroids policy have been marginal players or minor leaguers.

6) USC is the overwhelming #1 in the opening USA Today Poll. More disturbing, Maryland received no votes. Vastly more disturbing, Duke received one vote, reportedly from Spurrier who always votes for his alma mater. If Spurrier is protesting the ridiculousness of preseason rankings (which likely provided really high expectations for Spurrier's Florida teams), then I don't mind so much. If he really just thinks this could be Duke's year, he's dumber than his Redskins experience indicated.

7) The Ravens and Redskins scrimmage today at noon (MASN-1 with local live coverage). Let me say right now that I care way too much about the outcome of this now-annual event. I'm hoping the McNair-Heap and McNair-Demetrius Williams connections continue to develop, and I want to see something out of Troy Smith to make me comfortable cutting Kyle Boller loose this February. The two teams meet again in Week 3 of the preseason at Fed-Ex/Gay Pride Stadium in Raljon/Landover.

8) Browns RT Ryan Tucker has been suspended four games under the NFL's steroid policy. This makes me plenty nervous, because I think steroids are more pervasive in the NFL than we know. It makes me plenty happy too, because the Ravens play the Jamal Lewis-led Browns in the first four weeks. He can still train with the team and play preseason games, but somebody better keep Jamal away from him. Jamal has "friends" who don't "appreciate" his starting RT getting caught for juicing. Now, Joe Thomas has to start right away, which makes it entirely likely that Ryan Tucker has started his last game. That's too bad, because Tucker got off to a great start as the starting RT for the Rams during their Super Bowl run and can legitimately claim a portion of Marshall Faulk's success during those years. Tucker missed much of last season with "mental issues". I would link to discussions on the topic, but they're all Browns-related, and I'd sooner cut off my own balls than give anything to a Browns fan.

9) Eddie Murphy knocked up Scary Spice. I feel like I already knew that, but maybe I'm recalling a TMZ unfounded rumor. Congrats to Eddie. Considering his past arrest for soliciting a tranny for prostitution, knocking up an actual woman, and a hot one at that, will do more to resurrect his career than anything else could. Eh, dohnkay?